


What's The Next Worst Thing After Necromancy? Having a Crush

by MedicalMess



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Kind of a slow burn, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Past Relationship(s), Smut Eventually, body harm, hoo this is definitely not going to be following the canon, mentions of severe depression, shadow is already dead btw one ship only, this is that, uhhh lots of angst boys, you know when you run out of content and you end up writing your own
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:34:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedicalMess/pseuds/MedicalMess
Summary: What happens after you save the day? PTSD.After the heroes split up post-defeating-Vaati, Vio is sent into a spiral of crippling depression and self-hatred while he searches for a way to revive Shadow. One night, on his death bed, someone from Vio's past stumbles on him unexpectedly, and he's the only one stubborn enough to save him.
Relationships: Blue Link/Vio Link, Shadow Link/Vio Link
Kudos: 7





	1. Can I trade my leg for some mental stability?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks this was supposed to be a fun little one-shot but it accidentally turned into a fic. This will be the first fic I post on A03 so enjoy! Hopefully more to come :)

Dull colours. Peeling paint. Creaky floorboards. Dust hanging in the air. A mouse scuttling over a small pile of dishes. The sun never looked so grey as it did when it shone through Vio’s blinds and cascaded over his frame. 

Haunted lilac eyes stared into empty space. Thin pale hands tucked around a moth-eaten blanket. Tangled, greasy hair tied itself into knots around his head as he shifted his position for the first time in several hours. 

This was how Vio spent most days lately. Following their mission, the four counterparts were given the option to rejoin or live separately, and considering the circumstances with each of their growing individual identities, the group had elected to stay separate. They were showered with gifts in return for vanquishing the evil of their generation, including housing accommodations and living supplies for the rest of their lives. 

Following their mission, the four counterparts were given the option to rejoin within the sword or live separately, and considering the circumstances with each of their growing individual identities, the group had elected to stay separate. Naturally, the kingdom was rather excited to have FOUR heroes instead of one, and in return for vanquishing the evil of their generation, they were showered with gifts- including housing accommodations and living supplies for the rest of their lives. 

Green and Blue found their place within the kingdom. Their heroic and kindly leader was an inspiration for all, and with his ambition and level head, he made for a perfect leader within the town and personal guard to the princess. He was adored, worshipped, and deeply loved by all who came across him. Apparently, he had begun putting together some kind of training manual for future generations to use in case of dealing with certain magical entities, and the princess was excited to contribute. 

Blue also found his place training the guards, though surprisingly he seemed to excel at organizing and strategizing with the king about distant land disputes and potential conflict with other kingdoms. The two got along famously- especially at feasts. Had Vio been a wallflower in those meetings, he might have commented that Blue's perfectionist tendencies were finally useful for something other than his laundry. 

He heard that Red decided to travel and see the world. Perhaps had even joined the circus- who knew.

All Vio knew was that none of the heroes could look each other in the eyes anymore. So much trauma and betrayal haunted their footsteps that it was easiest to split as far away as they could and pray that their new lives would justify them sacrificing their old ones.

Vio didn’t know where he was supposed to end up. He hadn’t planned on feeling so alone. No elaborate disguise, no cunning scheme could drag him from the horrors that clawed their way into his mind every time he closed his eyes. Seeing his only friend suffer and die in his arms as a result of his inherent loyalty to the side of light was more than he could bear. Vio knew his counterparts were likely not as well off as they presented, but they hadn’t suffered the loss that he had. 

And considering the pain that Vio had put Shadow through, Vio didn’t think he deserved to thrive either. He had taken off to travel for research- doing anything and everything he could to figure out how to resurrect a spirit, but the issue was, nothing like Shadow had ever existed before. He was trying to reanimate something that wasn’t tangible, wasn’t comprehensible, and Vio had given up after a few years of failed attempts. An old woman on a remote, decrepit island had advised him that since Shadow was a part of him, perhaps sacrificing his own flesh and blood would be effective in bringing him back. A few hours later, Vio found himself stitching up a stump where his leg used to be. His desperation was for naught- the sacrifice had done nothing. Many incantations, spells, and rituals had been attempted, and while Vio could swear that sometimes he did hear Shadow’s voice in his head, he had yet to see any results from his efforts. It was useless. He simply lacked either the knowledge or the magical ability, likely both, that would be required to bring Shadow back. 

And he destroyed the only thing that could have possibly done so. 

Vio was exhausted. At this point, he was simply waiting to die. He had no drive, no ambition like the others. No future or skills that could be put to use- other than the kingdom’s most useless crippled necromancer. Finding this old house was easy- it was in a village that Shadow and his dragon had once burned down together. Vio had happened upon the location in his travels, and he instantly recognized the ash-laden ruins. No one would bother him here. 

It had been two weeks since he took up residence in the half-destroyed house, rising from his borrowed bed only for the most basic needs. He was greasy, unkempt, and disgusting in every way. Vio didn’t know what was wrong with him, but all he knew was that he wanted it to be over. He also knew that his wish would soon be granted, if the slowly-fading beat of his heart was anything to go off of. It was what he deserved, really. Why would he ever aspire to be a hero when he hadn’t even been a successful villain? 

Eventually the sun’s light began to fade, and Vio closed his eyes. He knew in his heart that he wouldn’t wake up the next morning, and felt the first glint of happiness in his chest in months. 

That was, of course, only applicable if he had been able to sleep through the night. 

Vio frowned as he heard the faint rumble of horse hooves clodding through the roads outside, betraying the presence of the only other living souls in this town since he had arrived. With great effort and some risk to himself, Vio propped himself up on a pillow to look out the window above his bed and into the street. 

Deep blue tunics. Flashing metallic armor. Strong, well-bred horses. Fuck. It was the royal guard. How the hell.. Vio sank back into the bed with a groan and rubbed his eyes. The torches in the evening light felt like they burned permanent shapes into his retinas. He prayed that they wouldn’t find him here- the only thing more dishonorable than his failure was for that failure to be made public. His counterparts had graciously offered to not bring up anything about the fire temple or Shadow as long as Vio didn’t mention it, which was fine for him, but would definitely cause confusion now. 

Vio’s eyes widened as he realized who the booming voice commanding the men belonged to. 

"Fuck me."

It was Blue. And they were camped directly outside of the house he was staying in. Vio could never forget that voice- though it was deeper now. Stronger. More confident. They were adults, and Vio knew without looking that Blue was probably built like a beast by now. He towered over him when they were teenagers, broad-shouldered and covered in hard muscle. While the two had never gotten along, they didn’t fight like Green and Blue tended to. Vio wasn’t interested in trying his archery in close quarters with someone like Blue. 

“Scout the area for anyone and anything out of the ordinary, and report back to me before the sun is down. You two, start a fire and cook those deer-” Yep, Blue had definitely found his calling in ordering others around. Vio looked around for somewhere- anywhere- to hide, but he knew that there wasn’t a chance he would be able to get out of this bed in time. His prosthetic leg was propped up against the rotting wooden frame, which he managed to screw in place and cover with his pants, though he couldn’t do much other than curl up and pray that they wouldn’t check his room. 

Of course, the goddesses seemed to have a vendetta against him. 

“Sir! There’s a body upstairs- it looks fresh, but.. you should come take a look.” 

Vio frowned and opened his eyes, offended. Did he really look like- oh. He caught his reflection in the broken mirror on the wall as he turned around, cringing a little and sinking into the bed again with a small flush of pink in his gaunt cheeks. 

Okay, yeah. That was fair. 

“Wait outside.” Vio heard Blue’s voice just outside the door, accompanied with the hauntingly familiar sound of metal sliding out of a sword sheath. The wooden door creaked open behind him, spilling torchlight over his body and casting a shadow on the wall. “Fucking hell.” He heard Blue mutter under his breath as he approached slowly. “Poor thing must have starved to- oh shit.” His voice dropped into a whisper at the last second. 

Vio pressed his lips together, debating for a moment before deciding to take a rather obvious breath with his eyes still closed to prove that he was alive. “Get me healing potions, now!” Blue barked to the team behind him- Vio assumed- and he felt a large, warm hand encompass his shoulder to roll him onto his back. Vio limply rolled over, pretending to still be unconscious, not sure he could handle the immediate confrontation that would come with seeing Blue again for the first time since the whole group split up. Footsteps thundered down the old stairs as two of the guards ran off, leaving him under what he could feel was a conflicted and upset stare. “Violet.. C’mon. Wake up.” He was shaken gently by the shoulders, though Vio didn’t have to pretend to loll his head around- he didn’t have the strength to resist. 

He heard another sigh. “Shit.”


	2. Let me rot in peace, please and thank you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vio is a wee bit defensive, Blue is not impressed

Vio continued his passed-out facade, not having to pretend as much as he anticipated due to his overall physical and mental decay. His lips were parted by a hand on his jaw, his neck carefully lifted and supported to prevent choking as he was fed several different healing potions in the attempt to revive him. No one else was allowed in the room- Blue probably knew that it would cause a stir to see one of the kingdom’s most famous heroes wasted away in a place like this. 

The potions were helping. That chronic ache that had weighed in his bones began to lift, Vio felt an odd tingle where his leg used to be, and several bedsores itched and burned as the flesh knitted together and healed itself. He twitched uncomfortably as he was laid back down on the bed, vague nausea filling him from the strong liquid in his usually empty stomach. 

Vio still didn’t know whether he had the heart to talk much to Blue, but he couldn’t listen to the other quietly beg him to wake up for any longer. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking a couple times in the sudden light, and focused on the man in front of him.

..He had expected Blue to look different, but holy shit. 

“Oh thank the goddesses. I didn’t think you’d wake up.” Blue sat back and let Vio sink into the pillow again, sighing with relief and running a hand over coarse blond hair tied back into a convoluted-looking bun. He looked healthy. Strong. He was at least a foot taller than when Vio saw him last, and much broader as well. “Is.. is this where you’ve been? All these years?” He asked, looking at the decaying house surrounding them. Vio gave a small shake of his head, holding his blanket more tightly and trying to figure out what the hell was in Hyrule castle’s water. 

“About a month.” He croaked, coughing a second later and wincing as his chest spasmed.

Blue frowned, looking over his shoulder at the door and taking a deep breath. “..I can’t hide you. You’re coming with us.” He decided, looking around for any belongings that might have belonged to the sickly hero and landing on a small satchel. “Is this yours?” He asked, receiving a nod and nodding in return before he pulled the leather strap over his shoulder. Vio’s heart sank. This was exactly the opposite of what he had wanted, but he could tell that he was in no position to argue with Blue. 

“..Where’s your bow? Your sword?” Blue looked around more, clearly stunned at the sheer lack of, well, anything in the room. “Were you robbed? Attacked? Poisoned? What happened to this village?” Blue pressed for more information, though seemed to realize a moment later that Vio wasn’t going to be able to hold any kind of conversation for long. He sighed, shaking his head and setting the torch in a small iron ring by the bed that had survived the burning. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer any of that right now. C’mon.” He leaned down, wrapping an arm around Vio’s torso to help him sit up. “Gods you look like shit.” He muttered, shaking his head as he felt how threadbare the other had become. “Have you even eaten since you got here?” 

“I don’t remember you being this talkative.” Vio grumbled, gripping Blue’s shoulder for support as he wavered, even while sitting down. He felt like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Guilt and shame flooded through him, making him sink into himself despite the other doing his best to keep him upright. “..I think we both know I’m not walking.” He said quietly a moment later, not exactly thrilled about the idea of being carried anywhere in front of a group of strangers- royal guards, nonetheless. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t remember you on the verge of death in some fucked up- ugh. I’m not doing this right now. I have new recruits and.. fuck’s sake.” Blue scooped up Vio a moment later, his nose wrinkling at the putrid smell. “You smell like a corpse.” He muttered, carrying the hero over to the door and easily holding him with one arm as he pulled on the iron handle. It came off in his hand, but the door drifted open a moment later with a metallic screech. The guards outside all straightened up when Blue walked out, and Vio realized quickly that they were all FRESHLY recruited. They were gangly, freckled kids that barely looked older than he did when he split from the others for the first time. As soon as they realized who their captain was holding, confusion, awe, and shock filled their faces. Vio grimaced and partially covered his face, knowing that they probably thought of him as some sort of god. Blue’s expression grew steely again and he nodded sharply towards the staircase adjacent to the room. “Continue sweeping the area. Then find somewhere safe to camp for the night.” He ordered, brushing past the group and carrying Vio downstairs to the campfire built in the significantly more stable lower level of the house. He set him down on a bundle of blankets, kneeling beside him and haphazardly pulling his tunic sleeve up from where it had slipped down his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to take care of me, Blue.” Vio frowned, reaching up to lightly smack Blue’s hand away. “I know you might feel.. some compulsion, after our history. However, I’m not your baggage. Don't-” He coughed, his hand rising to his throat to rub gingerly as it threatened to spasm again. 

Blue’s eyebrows furrowed as he sat down beside Vio, taking in his disheveled and sickly appearance in a more consistent light. “You really think I want to handle you? Last time we talked was in the fire temple. It doesn’t look like you improved much.” Neither of the men had ever been particularly good about emotions, and it showed. Vio was cold, calculated, and wildly self-destructive. Blue was explosive, controlling, and had always had poor impulse control. They were a match made in hell. 

Vio frowned, but he wasn’t one to bitch about not being babied. “I..” He sighed, his hands fidgeting in his lap. “I know none of us ever wanted to see each other again. Especially me. I fucked up and almost got you all killed. I guess I never had the nerve to apologize for that.” 

“It sounds like you don’t have the nerve now.” Blue muttered, looking back at the fire. 

“Shut up. You have no idea what it was like.” Vio’s supporting arm failed him and he crumpled slightly before righting himself. “He was just a kid. And so were we. He was my only friend and..” 

“And you did what you had to do. We all did. Don’t think you’re the only one fucked up because of it. You know what it’s like to be eaten alive?” Blue turned to glare at Vio, clearly unimpressed with his attitude. “Or maybe have one of the only people you’re supposed to trust just fuck off into the night and, oh, surprise, he’s in love with the guy trying to kill you. Oh! And he does try to kill you, by the way, and even if it turns out he was lying later, it fuckin’ felt real. Hey- fuck off.” He directed his last statement to one of the guards walking in, who quickly turned white and nodded hurriedly before dashing out. 

Vio stared at Blue, anger and hurt flashing through his gaze before he steeled himself and turned to glare at the fire. This was why they never spoke- it always ended up turning into some argument or another. And the worst part was- Vio knew that Blue was right. 

“..You never gave us a chance either.” Blue said after a moment of silence, shaking his head and propping his chin up on his hand as he stared at the fire. “We all eventually got back together, you know.” He said quietly. “No one’s heard from you in years.” 

“I was trying to figure out how to fix things.” Vio muttered. “I searched everywhere- everything. Tried everything. I’m just.. I’m not smart enough, or driven enough to do it. I failed.” 

Blue shrugged and looked back at the fire with a sigh. “Vio.. you’re one of the most stubborn assholes I’ve ever met. If anyone could have done it, it would have been you.” He let his hand fall into his lap. “I can feel you lost some part of yourself trying to get him back.”

“What do you think I lost?” Vio asked, turning to look up at his counterpart again. 

“Well, either you cut off your leg or you're way skinnier than you look. Seriously. I felt it when-”

Vio shoved him, albeit doing absolutely nothing to the big man. “Fuck off."


	3. Be gay burn down a local village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vio befriends a guard and thinks about burning down a city with his boyfriend

Blue chose not to move from their location for another day or so. There was no way for anything to survive in the ashes, so there was no prey for the predators to hunt. Safe enough for the kids running around and pretending that they knew what they were doing. 

Vio hated watching them work. He had despised his own time as a ‘hero of hyrule’ and he knew that his counterparts hated it as well. They hadn’t been given a choice- a sudden burden was thrust upon them and if they had failed, everything they had ever known would be destroyed. Didn’t they know who they were serving? Why would they choose to be involved in all this shit? 

So naive, and so young. Vio wanted to tell them to cut loose and run. 

Instead, he watched them gossip. Sharpen swords. Scout. Do drills. Blue had certainly whipped them into shape. He frowned as he watched a younger kid try his hand at archery in the large room where they congregated, stuck inside as a torrential downpour soaked everything else without a roof. “Your stance is wrong.” He spoke up after the guard missed for the third time in a row, drawing his attention and the looks from a few other guards close by. Vio couldn’t get up to correct him from his spot in the corner, propped up with a blanket covering his thin frame, but the mixture of broth and healing potion he had been drinking made him strong enough to speak. Besides, he had been the best archer in the kingdom at some point, so he had pointers to offer. 

“Sir?” The boy asked, lowering the bow with a confused frown. 

“If you keep your arm that high you’re going to strain your shoulder. And keep your toe pointed to where you want to aim.” Vio suddenly felt self-conscious with several pairs of eyes on him, and he wasn’t interested in being a teacher, but it was almost painful to watch the clumsy mis-handling of the deadly weapon from here. And hey, who knew? Maybe it would save the kid’s life one day. “Also, look down the shaft at where you’re aiming.” He fell silent after that, but a few of the guards turned their attention to the kid shooting, who actually managed to hit the target in his next shot. Not a bulls-eye, but that would come with time. Vio nodded approvingly before turning his attention back to the shattered window he had been looking through. 

Rain pattered in the muddy street, filling ditches where carriages and horses once travelled. The burnt and ugly houses across the street were soaked, making the charcoal edging the wood structures look like blood. Vio thought about the day this place had burned.   
~~~

“Isn’t it a beaut, Vi?” Shadow grinned from behind him, strong arms holding him in place while the massive beast beneath them circled over the burning city. Orange, yellow, and red flickered around them, with black smoke billowing in the sky. Vio, in all of his misguided rage at his fate and his inability to be the person the goddesses wanted him to be, relished in the screaming below. He smiled, leaning back against Shadow and squeezing the forearm across his stomach. 

“Who knew fire could be so pretty?” He asked rhetorically, turning his head to watch a cloud of embers flurry past them as a building collapsed. He heard his companion make a noise of agreement, and they soon rose higher before the air could become too stifling. 

“I’d burn every city for you.” Shadow murmured, holding him closer. “Just as long as you stay with me.” 

~~~

Vio frowned, his mood soured by guilt and loss. He had indeed loved Shadow, as much as anyone so young could love someone, but he deeply regretted all of the destruction he had caused in their short time together. The group forgave him when he came back, but truly, there was a point in which he had no interest in letting them do it. Vio knew he didn’t deserve their forgiveness.

“Hey.” He heard a familiar voice beside him, raising an eyebrow as a soaked Blue sat heavily on the bundle of blankets beside him and pushed a few strands of wet hair out of his face.

“..Feeling any better?” Blue asked awkwardly, noting Vio’s poor mood. 

“The broth helps.” Vio murmured, gesturing to the half-empty bowl. “..Find anything?”

Blue shook his head. “We scouted the whole village. It looks like whatever happened, it happened a few years back. Place was picked clean. Good thing we caught a few deer and already have provisions, otherwise we’d be fucked for food.” 

Vio nodded thoughtfully and leaned back against the wall he had been propped up against. “Yeah. Not much around here.” It was rather obvious, since he had nearly starved to death, but Vio could have done that anywhere. It was just that this dead space made it easier. 

“Can I ask you something?” Blue tilted his head a little, dark eyes true to his name peering at Vio. “And before you say some smart-ass thing about how I already did, I want to know the truth. Don’t answer if you don’t want, but don’t lie to me.” 

Vio, his interest now piqued, nodded warily and turned his full attention to Blue. 

“Why did you never come home?” Blue asked quietly. “S’ been bothering me all day.”

“Ah, well, I’d hate to bother you.” Vio said dryly. He frowned a moment later and averted his gaze as Blue rolled his eyes. “..Truthfully..” He glared at a guard who came too close, silently warning them to back off before speaking again. “Actually, it was because I didn’t want to bother you. I know what you all thought of me- or what you would think of me if you saw what I became. I know we were supposed to work together to save the world but.. Blue, I’m not hero material. I think the sword fucked up when it split us. I was just so angry and- and so hurt that I knew I’d fuck things up again if I stayed.” He looked up at Blue again, trying to read his face. “That’s why I left.” 

Blue stared at Vio, his hard gaze impossible to scrutinize. It looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words to do so. Vio was familiar with the feeling. “I get it.” Was all that came out eventually, but their conversation was cut short by a guard starting to hand out dinner to the troop, which brought too many of them to the same area for the two to keep talking peacefully. For some reason, when he stood and walked away, Vio didn’t feel the same frustration that he felt after most of his conversations with Blue.

'I get it.'

No, you don’t. 

They left at dawn. Vio didn’t have a choice in the matter- Hyrule castle was only a few day’s ride away, and Blue intended to finish with this training group by the end of the week. He was unable to ride, so he sat in the back of Blue’s saddle on what was possibly the biggest horse he had ever seen in his life. 

“Her name is Erune.” The captain said proudly, patting her shoulder with the first glint of happiness that Vio had ever seen in his naturally stormy expression. Vio couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto his lips when he recalled the owner of that name. 

“Named after-” “Yes. Shut it.” 

Vio shook his head with a smile as he offered an apple to the massive horse, holding a walking stick in his other hand to support the weight that his prosthetic leg could not. “Well, she’s just as pretty. I don’t suppose you ever went out and asked her on a date?” He looked over, amused by the way Blue’s expression hardened- a sure sign that he was trying to cover up being embarrassed. 

“..No. She’s a good friend, just not my type.” He said shortly, ending the topic by lifting Vio into the back of the saddle and attaching his satchel and walking stick to the rest of the supplies the horse was carrying. Once everyone was accounted for, they left the depressing husk of a town and began heading back to Hyrule.


	4. Oh shit you're depressed too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vio catches up with some old friends

It had been a month since Vio returned to Hyrule. Even for someone as well-travelled as himself, he was astounded at the change since he had last been there all those years ago. The homes were all renovated and looked beautiful, the castle had added at least one wing during their construction, the streets were filled with vendors and travellers, and it screamed ‘prosperity’ in every corner. Not that Hyrule had ever been a slum town, but Vio had been floored at how good it looked now. 

“Not bad huh?” Blue had looked over his shoulder, grinning at the stunned look on Vio’s face. “Once we really got invested in the kingdom- after defeating.. well, you know. We brought in a lot of trade and the place really took off.” 

The heroes had their own dedicated section of the palace to stay in, but they also had a massive home just outside of town overlooking a peaceful lake and surrounded by woods. Reuniting with Red and Green, along with the royal family, had been.. interesting, to say the least. They all had so many questions, and Vio had no idea how to answer any of them. 

No, I can’t tell you how I lost my leg. 

No, I didn’t find what I was looking for. 

No, I wasn’t a prisoner. I did this to myself. 

I’m sorry, I never wanted to come back. 

Red was the head of the local food committee, so he supervised a fair few restaurants and even ran his own bakery in town. He really seemed to find his stride in teaching, especially with sweets, so running small classes was where he thrived. Green was still managing the castle and local businesses, along with continuing to protect the princess during her duties. Vio suspected that the two were a little closer than they wanted others to think, but he respected both of them too much to even think about jeopardizing their reputations by mentioning it. Blue immediately seemed to dive back into work, so Vio saw him the least. He apparently managed most of the out-of-town business, along with his responsibilities as captain of the guard. 

Red and Vio spoke of their travels sometimes, since Red had spent about a year alone on the road- which Vio had no clue how he even survived, but it had clearly made him grow up a little along the way. He wasn’t as clingy and emotional as he used to be, but he was certainly still the kind friend that Vio remembered. Since the month had passed, Vio was gently coerced into health, but it was still difficult for anyone to communicate with him. Vio didn't know why he was so awkward and irritable, but he preferred to spend time alone rather than ruin any conversation he happened to stumble into. 

Naturally, after the whirl of excitement and novelty ceased, Vio found himself longing for.. whatever he had, all alone in the wild. Peace? No. Privacy? Yes. He never left the large property he had been led to, but somehow people always seemed to be nearby. On the off-chance he went outside, he always felt eyes on the back of his neck. 

The novel hero, who disappeared for five years after cleverly figuring out how to defeat the evil threatening their beloved kingdom, returned looking like he was on death’s door, found alone in the middle of nowhere. Of course they were curious. 

It didn’t make Vio hate them any less. 

Another month passed. Vio grew stronger with consistent food and shelter over his head. His bedsores healed, along with many of the scratches and bruises one tended to pick up when they lived on the road. His cheeks were no longer gaunt and hollow, the flesh returned to his bones, and his hair looked rather nice when clean and brushed out. Red had insisted on a haircut, so it sat around chin-length now rather than past his collarbones. The only thing that hadn’t changed was the haunted look in his eyes. 

Green had gently reminded him that he needed to be on his feet- well, foot, if he wanted to get any stronger. Vio knew what it meant; he couldn’t just mope around the house and expect to be taken care of. None of the heroes could sit by and let him rot in good conscience, but they were all far too busy to be full-time caretakers. To appease them, and to rid himself of the aching boredom that came with glaring at a ceiling all day, Vio had taken up archery again. Green and Red, delighted, were more than happy to help him construct a few targets. 

It was good for him. Mindless. Physical activity. Vio found that he struggled far more than he used to, though. His muscle-memory could only do so much when he had let those muscles wither away to nothing over the last several months. The challenge helped to focus him though, and the burn in his arms and shoulders took him away from the aching numbness that he felt all the time regardless. In order to avoid being stared at, along with capitalizing on his excellent night vision, Vio usually ended up practicing throughout the night and slept during the day. This also eased the awkward tension between himself and the other heroes during the meals that they happened to eat together. They were lovely, no mistake, but it was painful to try and start conversations when they were practically strangers. 

A clear sky with a full moon allowed Vio to practice with perfect conditions. His aim was getting close to what it used to be, and his shoulders and arms were getting stronger day by day. He reached for the quiver on his hip, thin fingers wrapping around the last arrow. The princess had given him a new set upon his return, as a sort of ‘welcome back’ gift; they were exquisite- light and well made- and difficult to break. He drew the arrow up and notched it, looking for a good target briefly before settling on the highest branch of one of the neighbouring trees. The pale bark stood out sharply in the moonlight, contrasting against the dark leaves behind it. Vio exhaled, drawing the bow back and lining up his shot, feet planted and shoulders burning, breathing in and out for another moment and clearing his mind before he- 

“Hey Vi.” Warm air brushed past his ear. 

Vio jolted and released the arrow awkwardly as he whipped his head around, cringing as he heard a distant animal squeak. “Fuck-” He panted softly, clutching his chest as his heart raced. 

“Vio?” A much stronger, louder voice popped up beside him. The archer whirled around, nearly beating the intruder over the head with his bow, but brought to a quick halt as the bow was caught mid-air and held in place. Blue’s wide eyes stared down at him, concern and confusion heavy in his exhausted gaze. “It’s like 5 in the morning. And it’s freezing. The hell are you doing out here?” 

“Don’t-” Vio yanked the bow away, “-fucking sneak up on me like that. You’re lucky I missed.” He prayed that it was just Blue’s voice that he heard, but he would know that first one anywhere. 

“..I didn’t sneak up on you. I also didn’t expect you to be out this early.” Blue frowned, noting Vio’s red cheeks and nose. “Have you been out all night? Can you even stand on that prosthetic for that long?” 

Vio huffed and began hobbling off to collect his arrows from the targets, thereby answering Blue’s question. He was too rattled, too exhausted to argue. 

“Hey. Last I checked, it’s rude to not answer someone. Especially if that someone is just trying to look out for y-” 

“Then don’t!” Vio whirled around again, a bundle of arrows in hand. “Stop trying to help me! We both know that it won’t do anything, and you’re obviously too busy for me to be anything other than a burden!” He didn’t know how else to address this growing unease that came with all of the team’s acts of charity, but it was eating him alive and he couldn’t help the guilt that came with accepting it. 

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I did help you, you selfish asshole.” Blue said angrily, walking closer and setting his lantern on the ground. “Don’t think I don’t know that you were trying to kill yourself out there. I can’t take whatever it is that makes you want to do that, but you need to get your shit together if you want to get better.” 

“Fucking easy to say for you, mister perfect hero.” Vio spat, backing up against a tree for support- as well as getting more distance between himself and Blue. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I can’t get it together? I can’t care about anything, as much as I would love to. I.. I have fucking voices in my head, I can’t think about anything other than how much I hate myself, and now I have to not look like I’m losing my mind because someone decided to be the hero and dump me back into the exact spot I’ve been running from for five years.” He threw the arrows aside, running his hands over his face and back into his hair as he took a few hard breaths and looked away. “I’m not like you.” 

“Perfect?” Blue snorted and shook his head, stepping closer and standing in front of Vio as he ranted. When he was done, Blue grabbed the front of Vio’s tunic- drawing a yelp from him- and drew him up on the tips of his toes so that he would be forced to look at him. “You think I didn’t go through the same shit? I tried it too, Vio. I’m not trying to fucking fix you, I’m giving you the chance to do it yourself. Like it or not, you killed Shadow. He isn’t coming back. I know you loved him, but you need to move on.” 

Vio clung to Blue’s wrists as he was pulled off his feet, glassy eyes wide and vulnerable while the other spoke. His breath came out in shaky clouds, mingling with Blue’s before disappearing into the cool morning air. “You.. you too?” He asked weakly, feeling the dents of old scars lining the inside of Blue’s wrists. He had never seen.. but he supposed that the royal guard outfit kept everything covered. 

Blue glared at him for a moment longer before he sighed and set Vio down, keeping his hands on his shoulders as he spoke. “I know it feels like you’re drowning. I know how angry and lost you feel. I can’t fix it, but I’m here for you. Right now, though, I’m freezing my ass off and I want to go to bed.” His expression softened as he go of Vio and picked up the lantern again. “Try not to assault anyone else, yeah?” He left soon after, leaving Vio with plenty to ponder as he went around and collected the rest of his arrows. 

Well, at least the necromancy was good for something. Vio took all of ten minutes to revive the hare he shot, carefully removing the arrow from its chest and cleaning it before returning it to his quiver. 

He paused in front of Blue’s bedroom door as he stiffly made his way back inside, shaking his head a moment later and continuing to limp to his own bedroom with a soft sigh.


End file.
